Well I went to Crossfit today and as I predicted, it kicked my butt HARD! What an awesome workout! Now I won't lie, I didn't want to go. Most of the people there are in shape and not there just to look cute and pick up their next date (at least, it didn't appear to be that way). I haven't really exercised since I started working in March, and it was virtually impossible to run the whole WOD (Workout Of the Day) but I did my best and figure it can only get better. Being the athlete that I stated before, I certainly have to battle with my pride and competitive side. It's hard being the biggest and slowest. Today as I looked in the mirror, seeing my red face and feeling close to passing out (NOT AN OPTION!) and I considered maybe I should have done something easier. I could walk and still be successful. I don't HAVE to do Crossfit. But then something happened. One of the ladies invites me to share her mat to do our floor exercises. We start talking and she tells me that she just started in May and couldn't finish a class either. She then invited me to get a protein shake with her after class and that's when I realized...I have to go again. Sure, I can do other things but this is about commitment and not letting myself off the hook. Funny how God knew I needed that kind of encouragement and put her in my path. Once the blood returned to my face, I realized I like how it feels to get a good work out in! It made me feel good about myself, plus, there is no way I can do a work out like that an eat poorly. Two good things together. Hopefully I can still walk tomorrow, my legs have been wobbly all day :) Next month I know I'll be glad I stuck with it!
This year I have been focused on one thing - getting into shape. At times I have been more successful than others. Lately, as you can tell from my blog, I have been going through a blah period. Not going forward, not going backward. The last couple of weeks something has been rumbling around in my head....I'm an athlete. It's true! I currently don't have the body of an athlete but my heart and mind certainly still go that way. 90% of the things on my bucket list are athletic things! I have played sports, gone to the gym since the 80ies (remember the days when we all wore leotards and leg warmers to the gym?), and have been a personal trainer. I'm a freaking athlete! Now what's hilarious is; as I was embracing the athlete thought, I had a conversation with my Mom this morning. She said that she had been talking about a friend of the family who said when they thought of me, they thought of an athlete. Woah! Talk about affirmation!
Now this thinking has lead me to do something tomorrow I'm nervous as heck about. There is a place in my town called CrossFit (http://www.crossfitlodi.com/) and I'm going to my first class tomorrow. I went last week to talk to someone but chickened out. I had pulled into the parking lot when I saw the class running by. Dang! They were all in shape, what was I doing there! Guaranteed, I'm going to get my butt kicked....at first. But I'm excited because I really believe in how they do training and I think it's going to be just the kick in the butt I need :) I will let you know if I live!
I hate slow change. I've never had a problem changing directions...except when it comes to this. I want to take it slow and make permanent changes, but sheesh! That's not how I live. I want it all, now. I know that's screwed up, and I beat myself up when it doesn't happen like that and I know that's wrong. So how do I come to a happy medium? The ugly D word. I've been struggling with it, it's like a scratchy jacket that's tight in the shoulders. The perk is if I can wear it long enough, my skin will be nicely exfoliated and it won't be so tight.
It's been the first week in a while that I've thought to myself I may have lost weight. I've been walking, eating healthier (although not completely crap free). I can see the fog lifting and know changing is within my grasp.
This weekend it's supposed to be super duper hot. That translates to me: SWIMMING! Woo hooo! My friend Ruth is coming over for the weekend and I anticipate that is what we will do. What I can't decide is do I go back to that clear mountain river that I went to a couple weeks ago or do we hit a delta river/lake??!! Both extremely acceptable options and both will be activities that will keep me moving. Love it! <3
As you may know by now, I've been complaining that my favorite walk along the nature trail next to the river hasn't been happening lately because they started charging to get it AND apparently small dogs are not allowed in nature. Ya ya, excuses but it is what it is. Well the good news is, I found a trail that goes along the other side of the lake that I'm going to take a shot at with Emma in tow. It's a bit of a walk but I'm up for the challenge!
I was looking at a word that I put on my wall today, it's an ugly ugly word. I don't think I should even share it because just the thought gives me shutters, but since I had to look at it and you're reading my blog, YOU get to look at it. It's discipline....let it feed into your soul :)
After finishing of the package of blueberries today, it occurred to me - blueberries can stain. Good thing I didn't get any on my clothes, we're good there. Then I caught my satisfied smile in the rear view mirror - what the...!!! I was grateful it was a stop light because it certainly would have caused me to swerve. Those pearly whites need a bit of a perk :D
All blueberry joking aside, it's Thursday and my week has been going good. Not super human awesome but I'm being more conscience of thinking about my food and carefully considering exercise. LOL Ok, sounds worse to say out loud because I know my own excuses when I hear them. I know what I need to do, just haven't done it yet. Sean said she lost her weight without exercising. If I didn't know her better, I would think she didn't like food and drink as well as I do but she's an awesome cook and drinks more in a week than I do in a month (hehehe I'm teasing). I know that I could certainly lose the weight by controlling food alone but I know from experience, my head needs the exercise. It makes me feel really good to get out of the house and breathe in deep.
I struggle with taking time for myself, even when I don't have anyone that has to have me around. It's almost like I'm afraid they might. Ya, that again is something that sounds worse saying out loud. So working past my own messed up head is 3/4 of the battle for me. A battle I shall win, oh yes I shall :)
My name is Kat and I'm a single mom of two young adults. I have not always been overweight but after having children and going through some personal hurdles, let it get out of control. My philosophy about eating is this: Eat real food. Real eggs, butter, veggies. Eliminating processed junk as much as possible. I eat butter, not faux butter product because I believe my body can better process real food rather than chemicals.