Sometime in January two adorable little girls showed up at my door selling cookies and I agreed to buy two boxes. I, after all, was a Girl Scout when I was younger and had really just started changing my life. Surely changing my life didn't involve refraining from this yearly tradition. Yesterday they delivered the cookies :/ I won't share what kind they were because I'm sure whoever reads this will automatically crave it and I don't wan't to subject you to that pleasurable horror. I will say this though - I did not pass this temptation. I ate 6 of them (maybe 7). Now for those familiar with the calories on these little gems, you know it's a lot of calories! You would think that GIRL scouts would come up with some low calorie treat to peddle. Maybe it's because I was a Girl Scout that I'm overweight today! Hmmm....I'm sure I could state a case for that which would undoubtedly humor me but in my heart I know it wasn't them, it's been me.
While I'm confessing my sins, I will admit that I also ate a Hershey chocolate bar. Bought it for the bon fire my daughter, Holly, was having with her friends. Turned out they got cold and left, leaving me with marshmallows and chocolate. EVILLLL!!!! There are two things that trigger my over eating, cookies and chocolate. Both in one weekend was horrid! Here is the good thing that I honestly feel today - soooo what! Yeah, I blew it. That was yesterday. Today is a new day and I will not give up my advances without a fight so I'm up early, making tea, dishwasher going, eating a healthy breakfast and going to get my walk in. I'm not going to lie, getting to this place is a struggle and the weight isn't falling off like the biggest loser BUT I feel good about me. My true struggle in weight loss isn't necessarily what I put in my mouth, it's what I think in my head. Do I believe I can overcome bad eating habits? Do I think I can have the body that is fit and healthy? Do I treat myself like I'm worth paying attention to? I couldn't say this before, but today I can for sure say yes to them all. God has been doing such a healing work in my life for the past 3 years. This has been just one more piece of our relationship that he has shown me we can easily do together. Easily together, yes, but still painful at times as all true life changes are. I'm finding that it is less painful the more I commit to the process instead of struggling against it.
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I weighed in this morning, so excited to step on the scale after a 4 mile walk yesterday. Imagine my disappointment to discover I had gained a pound. What??!! That walk had to have been worth a gazillion calories! lol Good thing a few weeks ago I started measuring myself. I may have gained a pound but I lost 2" in my hips and 1" in my thigh. Hmmmm...whatever could have caused that? Perhaps all the walking I've been doing lately? :) I was talking with my friend Ruth yesterday who reminded me to keep it simple and that muscle weighs more than fat. How funny I really needed to remember that this morning on the scale :)
I'm not discouraged. That muscle gain is going to be worth the gain on the scale because it is going to work for the real estate it took up in my body by helping me burn calories while I sit around and write blogs :) I will say this; weight loss is as much a battle of the mind as it is a battle of the bulge. Staying in the Word and having people in my life to reinforce right thinking are huge guns in my skinny arsenal. When I read what the Bible has to say about me, and when my friends and family are rooting for me - it just makes me strive harder. I want my body to reflect the way I feel inside and that is: forgiven, loved, strong, new, happy and of course....skinny :) I'm in the middle of week 7 and I'm still here! I think the biggest challenge right now is not to freak out and over think things. The personal trainer in me wants to get crazy and tweek this or that. I'm staying on the slow and steady pace and am trusting the science is right.
Sean and I were talking earlier this week and I realized in my desire to stay close to my daily calories so that my body didn't go into starvation mode, I was adding more calories in for the days I exercised. Now I am going to stick with just the daily calories and consider the extra caloric burn as a bonus. Right now I'm not exercising at a high level (250 cal. has been my highest) so I think this will be ok. Body changes take a lot of thinking! lol First with my awesome news....I lost 3 lbs this week!!! I'm still reeling! Learned so much about myself during the week.
One: I'm starting to be able to listen to my body. I think before I started I was eating so poorly there was a lot of "noise" going on that I couldn't tell the difference when I did good things because it was mixed in with the bad. Last weekend I spent Saturday and Sunday wine tasting. It took until Wednesday until my sugar cravings started to ease. My friend Sean, who's in wonderful condition, experienced the same thing when I asked her about it. That made me feel better! In the future if I plan on drinking I need to be prepared for my body's response. Two: Yesterday I went for a walk. I've been averaging about 1.25 miles, however, in light of my previous weekend's activities I decided to go Biggest Loser style for my last chance work out. I powered through 2.5 miles! I can't believe I did it! My calves were hurting after my first mile but were fine by the time I was done. I've been listening to some awesome podcasts from different ministers while I walk. When I'm done with my work o I'm really happy to see myself progressing and changing. I honestly didn't think I could do this, especially lugging around this much weight. I have wanted to push myself harder by adding in weight training and all kinds of other crap I think I should be doing. I've resolved that while I'm still in the easier stages of my weightloss, I won't start messing around with that stuff until I plateau. Since I'm at week 6 that should be soon I think. In the meantime I'm celebrating! :) Nothing. Didn't gain, didn't lose. ARGH! I am not going to let this get into my head. I know I've been doing the right things for myself this week and am still on track. I'm grateful I'm keeping track of my food because that gives me some information that I may need to change my eating, for example; I can see that my trend is to eat more carbs and fats than protein. Definitely need to bring that up. Other than that I'm going to go forward, I'm 11 freaking pounds lighter than when I started! This morning I was thinking about the 10 lb weight I was using to work out with and how I've lost that much weight. That's so awesome! Over all I feel happier, and every week I get further into this lifestyle change I feel more empowered to make it. This is happening! :D
Yeah! I'm still doing well by exercising and staying within my calories. I even added a quarter mile to my walk yesterday. Big mistake - stepped on the scale today. No change :( Why did I do that?! lol I may have to get rid of the scale all together because it messed with my mind. The good part is that I am feeling better about myself. I was looking at myself in the mirror and I think my face looks less puffy. I am trying not to be so critical and instead celebrating the changes as they happen. My sister shared this with me yesterday from Battlefield of the Mind: "The renewing of your mind will take place little by little, so don't be discouraged if the progress seems slow. Don't receive condemnation when you have setbacks or bad days...just get back up, dust yourself off and start again". What a "coincidence" she would give me that the day before I really needed it <3
After 4 weeks I've lost my first 10 lbs. Actually, it's 11 :) I'm so excited! I had determined from the beginning that instead of tackling the huge number that I need to lose, that I would lose it 10 lbs at a time. I've put my scale in the linen cupboard because I've been a little obsessed with stepping on it every day which was messing with my head. I will get my extra encouragement during the week from how my clothes are fitting. I was trying to see how many pounds of weight loss equals a change in pant size, unfortunately, it's between 10-30 depending on the person's frame and how much weight they need to lose. On to my next curiosity. What is good about losing 10 lbs? For that one I turned to the celebrity diet doctor, Doctor Oz :) http://www.celebritydietdoctor.com/5-health-reasons-to-lose-10-pounds-from-dr-oz/
I'm still excited about the changes taking place in my body. I'm not being super strict with myself; still eating normal food and some junk food (just staying in my calories), I'm not working out every day or for long periods of time but moving my body, and I'm giving myself permission to not lose the entire amount in a month. It took a long time to get here, next summer is not impossibly long to wait. It gives me time to save up for a fabulous vacation somewhere tropical :D |
AuthorMy name is Kat and I'm a single mom of two young adults. I have not always been overweight but after having children and going through some personal hurdles, let it get out of control. My philosophy about eating is this: Eat real food. Real eggs, butter, veggies. Eliminating processed junk as much as possible. I eat butter, not faux butter product because I believe my body can better process real food rather than chemicals. Archives
January 2015
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